Now That You Mention It...

No Sweaty Fat Men: Bonus!

I'm still settling in nicely to my fancy new rootin-tootin WAHM acronym. To celebrate my first week of freeeedom, we went to the Taste of Chicago this afternoon. For those not in the Chicago area, it's basically a street festival with music and tons of food. The bonus was that it wasn't as warm as previous years--when hairy, fat men wearing tank tops would sweat all over you while you waited in line for a rainbow cone. The downside was that my kid wanted nothing to do with, um, ANYTHING. Although he did enjoy a pierogi at one point. Being the responsible, loving mother that I am, I simply ignored his screams and suspicious looks of child abuse from other festival-goers. Because nothing gets between me and my Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ meatballs.

Besides the obligatory fireworks-watching, I'll be working a lot this weekend. I'm giving my YA one last ass-kicking before sending it off to my agent and into to the vast world of publishing. (More like black hole of publishing.) Since I'm a full-time writer now, it's that much more important that the book freaking sparkle.

Then, I'll get to sit by the phone and wait for the 212 area code to pop up. The other night, I caught up on last season's Entourage and cracked up at the last episode--where they're waiting for a phone call re: Vince's new movie and they all freak out when they see a 212 area code on his cell phone. And someone remarked that acting is all about waiting for the phone to ring. Yeah, well, RIGHT BACK AT YA, movie-star people. Of course, it all worked out in the end for Vince & Co. And yeah, it gave me a bit of warm fuzzy inspiration. A reminder that, sometimes, everything works out just right. Puppies, unicorns, sparkly kittens and all that crap. And at least my agent doesn't yell the F word into the phone repeatedly. Or, at least I don't think she does.

Zyrtec Hallucinations

Hey everyone!

We're hosting a fabulous contest this week over at The Novel Girls! Leave a comment to be entered to win a fabulous prize in honor of the release of A STROKE OF MAGIC by my friend Tracy Madison. My post is about the old show from the '80s, Out of This World. Remember that show? Half-alien, half-human girl with the ability to freeze time ring a bell? No? How about she talked to her father in outer space via a crystal on their coffee table?

Please, someone tell me they remember this show or else I'm going to start thinking my new allergy medicine has some AWESOME side effects.

Writing, Blogging and Mark DeRosa

So. This is my first official week as a Full-Time Bad Ass Writer/Work At Home Mom person. Technically, I was home last week, but that was more about dealing with shock, my book signing and drinking lots of wine. In fact, I just told my son to read a book quietly so Mommy could blog. I'm already kicking ass and takin' names at this work at home mom stuff!

While this time in my life is equal parts exciting and terrifying, it feels "right." I'm getting the chance to pursue my dream full-time with the added bonus of lots and lots of daytime television and trips to the playground. Working two jobs--Day Job and writing--left me drained, stressed, tired and every other related adjective. I'd get home and barely have enough energy to make my son dinner before putting him to bed and then work on writing-related stuff. It left very little room for creativity and many of my WIP sentences sounded like a second-grader wrote them. Like, "She walked into her house. She was tired."

I'm still a working mom--something I'll always be--but I just have a bit more time for the mom part of the equation.

Everyone keeps telling me that the universe works in mysterious ways, one door closes while another opens, ask and you shall receive. And it's true, often to a hilarious degree. I mean, I've spent the better part of a year, loudly complaining, "I want to be a full-time writer." And guess what?

Now, I'm going to start saying something else. Something that the universe just got really, really wrong as of Saturday night. All us Cubs fans said, "Mark DeRosa needs to come back to Wrigley." Well guess what? As of Saturday, he is. Just in a fucking Cardinals uniform. Universe, you truly are hilarious.

Recaps and Announcements

While I had the best intentions to blog about my Ohio launch party on Tuesday, er, something came up. I'll tell you exactly what it is at the end of the post. But! First! Let's talking par-tayin'.

1. My Ohio Launch Party aka The Party of Books and Sweat. We arrived at the restaurant a few minutes early, eager to get in the a/c since Ohio is apparently Alabama with its 100 degree heat index and 100% humidity. But, the restaurant felt a little...moist. I was assured that they had just jacked up the a/c. The party started and we had a great crowd--lots of books were sold and I got a chance to chat with everyone, despite hair that increased thousandfold and makeup sliding off my face. We were told at some point that the a/c was on, that it was just turned up, that it wasn't working right, that they don't turn it on until 4pm (that one was my favorite) until finally, someone informed us that one of the compressor thingy broke and basically, you guys are SOL.

The party doubled as a weight-loss seminar as I'm pretty sure we all lost a good ten pounds. Come for the books! Stay for the dehydration!

Anyway, despite the heat, it was a fabulous party and thank you to everyone who came out to join us.

2. My Book Signing at Borders. Last night was my first real signing. Which meant I had to talk in public and stuff. Which equals scary. I started off my apologizing to everyone in case I said anything embarrassing, profane or stupid, as my speaking audience usually consists of my toddler and cats, all of whom generally ignore my existence.

I talked a little, read from the book, took questions and signed books. All while my son ran around and shrieked over not being able to destroy a table of new releases. Ah, the irony. It burns.

Then, afterward, I went out with some fabulous bloggers and learned all about how paying one's babysitter in scotch is occasionally considered a good idea. Might I just add that the scotch is for the sitter to CONSUME while watching said children. I prefer to pay my sitters in condoms, cigarettes and Rent-A-Center gift cards, but whatever works. Check me out on Twitter @maureenlipinski to get more of the deets from last night. It was wonderful and EXACTLY what I needed after...

3. Tuesday. The reason why I didn't recap my launch party sooner. On Tuesday, I was laid-off from my job. It came as a complete (by complete I mean WTFOMG. I was in shock before I nodded my head and said KTHXBYE) shock. But, we're going to be fine thanks to a combination of some book money and other things. In fact, it's looking like I'll have at least the summer, if not until the end of the year, to focus solely on writing. So Yay! But also Crap! Time to make sure that my YA sparkles like the shine on Steve Wilkos' head. (Yes. I am a stay-at-home writer now. I watch The Steve Wilkos Show.)

But really, everything is going to be fantastic and I'm elated that I get to focus on something I've always wanted to do. Plus, I'll get the summer off to spend with my son. So, this is a really, really great thing. Blessing in disguise, everything happens for a reason and all that crap.

What I do know is that after having my book out for only a couple weeks is, holy freakin' hell, I'm hooked. HOOK to ED. I love this writer stuff. And for the first time in a long time, I really feel like I'm where I'm "supposed' to be.

So me + Steve Wilkos + Maury Povich + writing + my son = one kick ass summer.

Not the Recap You're Looking For

I will soon be posting a recap of Book Launch Party v2.0: Cincy edition, also known as The Party of Books and Sweat or Sweaty Book Party.

In the meantime, check out my interview with Shades of Romance magazine here.

Put On Your Party Hats v2.0

Quick reminder for all you Cincinnati-ites...er...Cincinnati-ans? Whatever. Those of you who live in Southern Ohio: Come. Party. Saturday.

Book Launch Party Re-Mix: This Time With More Flustered Talking and Appetizer Dropping

Saturday, June 20th

4-6pm

Teller's of Hyde Park

2710 Erie

This event is also open to the public--so don't be shy. Not coming will make the Baby Jesus cry. So, come, hang out, eat buffalo chicken egg rolls. Buy a book. I'll sign it with whatever profanities you like. I might even tell inappropriate stories and point out which of my friends make cameos in the book. (Shhhhh....)

But don't just take my word for it.

Ryan says: You non-attenders make me very crabby.

 

Side note--does this photo not look like a hostage snapshot? You know, where they make the hostages hold up the paper to show proof of the date?

Did You Hate My Book? If So, I Would Like to Buy You A Drink.

Now that my book has been out for over a week, I need to do one more obligatory mushy post. It has been such a blessing to meet new readers and hear feedback. It’s still amazing to me that people love my book so much that they’re asking for a sequel. It’s so cool to be able to “share” Clare and Jake with the world.

Now, unicorns and sparkly rainbows aside, of course there will always be people who don’t connect with the material—and that’s OK. Not every person is going to like every book. I certainly don’t expect that; nor does it bother me as much as I thought it would. If people didn’t like the book, what can you do? I think books that are supposed to be “funny” especially fall victim to this. My book has a sarcastic, snarky tone to it. My main character doesn’t think pregnancy is all puppies and rainbows--which will definitely turn some people off. And that’s OK. People will either “get it” or they won’t. Simple as that.

But you know what I’ve found in the past week? Negative reviews can actually be some of the best advertisement for the book. Seriously. I’ve had a couple negative reviews where people have actually contacted me afterward and said they bought the book BASED on that feedback. (So thanks, people who hated my book! Drinks on me!)

Anyway, some of the best advice I’ve gotten as a writer is to not let reviews affect me—good or bad. Just keep writing.—and you can bet your ass I will be. Not until I achieve Stephenie Meyer levels of fame and I am mentioned at the MTV Movie Awards. Hopefully when I am still young enough to pretend to blend in with all of the teenagers and not knocking people over with my motorized Hover-round electric wheelchair.

Book Launch Party v1.0 Recap

I think I've finally stockpiled up enough sleep to recap Saturday's event. Although the trunk of my car is still filled with a huge poster of my book cover and lots of pink postcards. Not to mention those cool new Sharpie pens I bought to sign books are now lodged at the bottom of my son's car seat, mixed in with crushed up Crispix and stray milkshake straws.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Glamorous life? I has it.

Anyway, so yes. The party went smashingly well. There were about 50 people there at any given time. A great mix of family, friends, acquaintances and friends-of-friends. I met a lot of wonderful people and, surprisingly, did not say anything profane or inappropriate. (During the party at least. After a few buckets of beer at Mother Hubbard's later that night, well, yeah. Ahem.) (Sorry. If you wear matching t-shirts, you deserve to get made fun of.)

It was pretty surreal having people buy books from the Borders table and hand them to me to sign. Like, "Are you sure? I could probably find someone else more interesting to sign it." I had no idea what to write. Like, "Hope this book lives up to your expectations?" Or, "I hope the fact that you are holding a book with a pink cover doesn't make you feel any less manly?" Maybe, "Works great as a doorstep when you're done reading?"

Regardless, I'm so grateful for everyone who came out and spent a few hours with me in the city.

And now, I'll bring out the funny. Three hilarious things happened during and shortly after my party. The first was that in the middle of party, I had to run to the bathroom. I wasn't paying attention, as I was rushing to get there and back, so as to continue all of the flustered talking about my book and beer drinking. On my way to the bathroom, I accidentally collided with a girl who, well, um. Let's just say affixed to her chest were Rock of Love contestant style boobs. They hit my arm. And it HURT. I had a bruise and a red mark. She did not even appear to notice that we collided. Either due to all of the alcohol or possibly the fact that her chest has no feeling left due to the boulders strapped to her ribcage. Attack of the Fake Boobs, ya'll.

Then, shortly after the Silicone Incident, my friend Sheryl arrived. She gave her car to the valets and came inside. After a few minutes, I noticed my guests were leaning outside, peering at the front of the restaurant. Apparently, the valets at this hip, swanky, cool restaurant had decided that my friend's car was the only one worthy of being parked outside the restaurant. All night long. Did I mention her car is a Honda CRV that's like 3 years old? Not a BMW or Ferrari. The best part was the valets decided to lean against her car, text and generally hang out and discuss politics all night. It was Awesome.

Finally, at the end of the night, post several beers at a bar around the corner, two of my book party attendees got out of a cab and started walking toward their apartment to call it a night. When, suddenly, there was Naked. A whole lot of Naked. On bikes. Apparently, there was some naked bike race Saturday night through the city. Our poor unsuspecting friends, no doubt slightly woozy from a night on the town, encountered a pack of old naked people, junk flying everywhere. My reaction? WHY didn't they ride past Mother Hubbard's?

I'll shut up now and bring on the pictures. Don't worry, none are from the Naked Wrinkled Bicycle Extravaganza.

Me with my very large book cover poster:

 

Borders selling my books. Woo Hoo!

 

My sister and I. She refers to me as her "albino sister."

 

Sheryl's car. Decorated with optional valets.

 

And that's all she wrote.

Until next week, when I will recap Book Party v2.0: Ohio Style edition. Gah.

Fab.

Full recap of the Faboolous Chicago launch party on Saturday. Right after I catch my breath and a few hours of sleep.

For now, check out my article in the Chicago Sun Times here. Awesome!

Will post later about Faboolous Night O' Books, Wine and the Attack of the Fake Boobs.

Woo Hoo!

Check out this AWESOME review for my book from The Bookshipper!